How To Create A New Life In 2008
How focused are you at truly changing your life in 2008?
Most of us seem to focus on the wrong thing. We focus on changing our lifestyle without realizing it’s our life that we need to change.
Now, before you get all freaked, this is not one of those “get-rich-quick, pump me up and tell me to talk and think positive and my life will change” blog post.
This is just a simple, from the heart message that I feel compelled to share as we move into 2008.
For most of us this time of year brings two things to mind.
First we start to reflect on the past 12 months.
Second we start to think about what new resolutions we’ll have for the New Year.
Reflection is great. It allows us to see where we have come from or in some cases what we have come through. Yet, for the most part, none of us seem to journal our lives in writing on a regular basis. So by the time the end of the year comes along we’ve forgotten most of what has happened to us good or bad.
So it isn’t a surprise that 60-90 days into the New Year we seem to have forgotten or misplaced our resolutions. Or worse yet we remember them because they have been the same ones for the last 20 years.
The sad fact is resolutions, like goals are not worth the paper we write them on!
Bet that I have your attention, let me explain. No, first let me ask a few questions.
When you found your soul mate, that person you knew your heart belonged, did you find them after writing down some goal or resolution?
When you decided on your current career path, was it because you wrote down some goal?
Or how about when you decided to have kids, did you write down some grand resolution or descriptive goal explaining what type of kids you would have, how they would grow up and the type of attitude they would share with the world?
I’ll bet the answer to all of these is NO!
Hang with me for a second, and let’s take this a step further. Think about these three questions. What did you think about and what have you personally done to you created the life you now enjoy?
Don’t hurry, take your time and give this some serious thought.
Let me give you some personal perspective, it might help you to better understand what I mean.
I remember when and why I joined the Marines. I even remember exactly where I was at when I made the decision. It was not because I had written some goal or resolution. It was for two very clear reasons.
The first reason was because my parent’s did not (according to them) have the money for me to enter college, and since it was 1982, I was 17 and the USA was just coming out of a recession, I could not find a job.
Second, and more importantly, Paige’s brother was a Marine and she LOVED him. I figured if I join the Marines she would LOVE me too. (by the way, there are easier ways to get a girl to love you.)
It had nothing to do with goals or resolutions.
By the way I was relaxing on the couch downstairs in our family room watching the dancing flames of the fire as they leaped up into the chimney when I decided “tomorrow I will join the Marines.” That was a Friday night. Saturday morning my dad took me to the recruiting station I signed the papers and a week later this 17 year old wet behind the ears, long haired country boy was on a plane to Boot camp. And that one decision was the catalyst that changed me from a boy into the making of a leader.
Now, let’s take this train of thought a little further. The U.S. Marines are known throughout the world, not as much for their fighting abilities, as they are for the leaders they have created throughout history. Currently 50% of the Fortune 500 CEOs are former marines. Yet, not once in any of our leadership, management, tactical training, statistic planning or just everyday grunt training were we taught to write down goals or make resolutions.
Instead we were trained to focus on the overall mission, and create a Plan of Action for reaching our objectives.
The same rings true in every area of our life here in the civilian world.
Even for those of you who went to college, your goal was not to JUST get to college, even though you probably stated “my goal is to get to college.” Think about it, if that was your goal, what would you have done when you got there? (Please don’t answer that question if Animal House is your favorite movie.)
What you were focused on was graduating with a degree that would help propel you forward in your chosen career or profession. So you worked with your counselors and professors to create an action plan with set objectives to get you from freshman to senior with a passing grade. This plan included specific classes, apprentice programs, and maybe even intern positions as you moved towards your final objective.
So why in the world have we gotten so caught up in the non-productive ritual of goal setting and making resolutions?
Let’s agree together to STOP this unproductive behavior and take control of changing our lives.
Here are some basic steps that we can accomplish in order to create our new Life Blueprint. A Blueprint that will give us the foundation we need for a Total Life Makeover.
Reflect – Take some time to reflect over the last 12 months of your life. Focus in these four major areas; Spiritual, Health, Relationships, and Financial/Career; if you saw your relationship with your spouse or kids grow stronger in 2007 write that down as an asset in your life. On the other hand if you saw your income go down, or your career take a downward turn, write that down as a liability that you need to work on.
Create – the objectives you want to accomplish in 2008. Use your reflection assets and liabilities as the basis for your objectives. I know that in my life this year I want to increase my charity giving 50%. I also know I want to completely wipeout all of our debt including what we have left owing on our home. So once we have our list of objectives we now need to create our action plan to accomplish these objectives. If I want to increase my giving 50% I will create a plan to increase my monthly income. Since I want to pay off all my debt, then I will change my monthly spending plan.
Your plan must be broken into three major steps. First will be daily actions, second will be quarterly benchmarks, and thirdly annual milestones.
Keep a Daily Journal – This is so important! Write down everything, both positive and negative that happens each day in every area of your life. Don’t get caught up in the current fad of “not speaking or thinking anything negative.” You have to be realistic and learn from everything that happens in your life. Just don’t dwell on where you are at, stay focused on where you are going.
This small daily action will allow you to see and feel what you were going through each time you reflex and read back through your journal. Plus at the end of the year you’ll remember the whole picture.
Find an Accountability Partner – This can be your spouse, business partner, kids or anyone else you trust, and who will be honest and keep you on track. You are not looking for a fan club! You want someone who will brainstorm with you, tell you when you have a nasty attitude and who will review your plan on a regular basis to make sure you are moving forward.
Create a Total Life Makeover Journal – This was one of the most exciting things Paige and I have ever done together. It is a record of your dreams in Picture form. It will be your living example of what you want your life to look like when you reach your objectives.
Paige and I started ours in 1990 after our first trip to Destin. We both fell in love with the city and decided this is where we want to raise our kids. So we would snap pictures, find post cards, cut our pictures from brochures or whatever we needed to do to paint the picture we were dreaming of. Then we would write down under each picture a descriptive explanation of what it would represent.
I remember one of the pictures I had cut out was of an office building where I would work. Although I ended up working in a different office building, when I read the description of what my office would look like, I was able to create it when the day came. And in the end my office was better than I dreamed. In my description I had to drive for 30 minutes to the office, and it was on the harbor. In reality my office was 30 seconds from my house. I had an 8’x 8’ TV projection system that worked as both a TV and my computer screen. I had my own private full bath, and had room to hold team meeting with 10 members at a time. I have found that Dreams are always better when they become reality!
Take your time and create YOUR Total Life Makeover Journal. Include your kid’s schools, cars, retirement accounts, homes, and vacations, anything you want. This is your journal.
It took us 10 years to see some of the things we wrote about in our journal to come true. But no matter what life threw at us, we would always go back to our journal and keep our focus. And, let me tell you life threw us a ball park full of curve balls.
From the time we decided wanted to live on the Island where Destin is located it seemed like one thing after another happened. We watched our net worth go from seven figures (twice) to bankruptcy. Tessa was diagnosed with a birth defect between her kidneys and bladder that caused some very scary times and eventually lead to pediatric kidney surgery (not cheap), personal and legal issues involving several family members; the loss of a major business due to embezzlement and fraud of one of our partners. And several other life changing issues, but none of these kept us from keeping our eyes on the main objectives.
We still add to our journal, and have taken it a step further. We now drive at least three times a week to down the beach to the small beach community where we plant o build our dream home. We take pictures, walk through the homes, and even take time to walk down the pebble cover paths to the boat dock to enjoy the water and to get a living feeling of what it will be like. And to top it all off they just opened a new starbucks which sure made my day.
This is why it is so important that you create your own personal Total Life Makeover Journal.
By the way for those of you who might think I am nuts. And, you might be thinking
“Troy this goes against all I have been taught. Why I have even heard that Harvard or was it Yale did a study on goal setting that proves you are wrong!”
Well, I use to believe the same thing. Until one day I decided to do some deep soul searching and went on a quest to find some answers. Guess what? There has never been a study by Yale or Harvard. Now don’t take my word for it. Check it out yourself. Here is a great starting point for you http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/06/cdu.html.
I truly believe 2008 is going to be a great year for all us who take the time to create our Life blueprint. Take time in the next few days to get your plan of action started.
Feel free to send me any comments – pros or con on what I have written. Together we’ll all grow from sharpening each other.
Here are two great resources to get you off on the right track.
Never Give Up,
Troy Dooly
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